


Trigonometry

by elyndys



Series: Geometry [3]
Category: Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 08:32:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elyndys/pseuds/elyndys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Third time lucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trigonometry

As it turns out, planning this trip is a bit more difficult than the last. Then, it was a series of happy coincidences; but because Maru actually _wants_ this to work out, of course, that means it’s not that easy.

“But my brother is coming to visit,” says Yoko. “I made him promise he’d come next time I had some days off!”

“I have some work,” Hina explains. He sounds like he’s trying to be apologetic, but Maru knows he enjoys working too much to really regret it.

“Oh, OK,” Maru tells them both. “Some other time.”

“Yeah, some other time,” they both agree, enthusiastically enough that Maru doesn’t doubt they mean it.

But it’s enough to germinate a little seed of paranoia in Maru’s mind. He’s gone too far. He should’ve known it couldn’t be this easy! These things only ever happen by accident, to try to set it up is like trying to engineer fate. It’s not going to work.

So he backs off a bit. If he stops thinking of a way to make it happen, maybe it’ll happen by itself, just like before. Whatever ‘it’ is. He doesn’t want to pin it down, even in his head, this… _conversation_ that he wants to have. Yeah. Conversation.

He decides not to push it, see if he can wait it out. Wonders if he should take this as a sign and just let it go – he had his fun, why does he suddenly want more? When he got along just fine before.

He gets a phone call one evening, when it's really too late for him to be thinking of doing anything, but it's Yoko, and he sounds giddy.

"Me and Hina were talking about how sad you sounded when neither of us could come on your trip," he says. Maru realises it's Thursday, and there must be an ad break on Recomen. "So why don't you come down and meet us after? We can go for a drink."

Maru is a bit suspicious - Yoko's giggling too much, what does he have in mind? He feels dumb for being so obviously let down when they both turned him down, but at the same time he's touched they're at least trying to do something at least to make up for it. Even if he doesn't know exactly what it'll entail.

"Okay," agrees Maru, giggling along with Yoko. Everything feels normal again - even if it is a suspicious kind of normal - and Maru feels relieved.

He meets them at the radio station and they're both peculiarly high-tension. Maru guesses whatever trick it is they're going to play on him, it must be going to be hilarious. He's looking forward to it!

"So, where are we going?" he asks, grinning.

They grin back. "Well, Murakami here had a great idea," Yoko says, his hand on Maru's shoulder.

"Oi oi! Who had the idea?!" protests Hina.

Yoko waves his free hand. "Oh yeah, I did say great idea, so it must've been me," he says airily as they begin to walk. "We're gonna need a taxi," he says.

When they get one, Hina whispers to the driver. He takes them in a familiar direction, then onto slightly less familiar streets. When they stop, and they get out and Hina pays the driver, Maru has a terrible idea of where they are.

"...Kinoko's?" he reads warily. It's what the neon sign says above the door of the bar they're in front of.

"Yup!" says Yoko cheerily, his hand on Maru's shoulder and steering him through the door. "It's your birthday treat!"

"But it's not my birthday!"

"Well, you'd better pretend, in case we don't get another chance," Hina says, his hand on Maru's other shoulder. "We thought you'd enjoy it here!"

The bar is dimly lit, but it doesn't look like a dive - in fact, it looks like any other bar they'd usually go to, apart from the middle-aged men in dresses and wigs who are serving drinks and chatting and giggling with the customers. Of which there are plenty. Maru doesn't know whether that's a good or a bad thing.

Maru wants to exclaim a few things, but one of the staff comes over with a big smile and bigger eyelashes.

"Now then boys, your faces don't look familiar," she coos. "First-timers, are we?"

Yoko and Hina laugh. "Yeah, it's his birthday," Hina says, pointing at Maru.

"No, no-" Maru starts, but it's futile, because the lady has obviously heard a magic word and her eyes light up.

"Oh, happy birthday!" she says, taking his hand. "In that case, you should have a few drinks on me!"

That stops Maru's protests. "That's very kind of you," he says automatically, smiling back at her. The others snigger at his very abrupt u-turn.

"You boys take a seat over there and I'll bring something over," she says, winking.

The three of them slide into a booth, Maru in the middle. "You brought me to an okama bar because you thought I'd enjoy myself?" he asks, looking from one to the other with amusement.

"Or to put it another way, we were thinking of things we thought you'd really enjoy, and we thought, okama bar!" explains Yoko, giggling.

"And you're having a good time already, aren't you? Free drinks, eh, birthday boy?" adds Hina, nudging him in the ribs. "I didn't hear you correcting her after she said that!"

"I guess not," Maru says, chuckling a little guiltily. "She certainly seems very... friendly," he admits.

"I'm sure she'll get friendlier," mumbles Yoko as the lady comes back with their drinks. One of them has a sparkler in it.

Maru dutifully drinks it and she brings him another with a huge smile and a bat of her eyelashes. He looks at Yoko and Hina pleadingly as she lays a hand on his arm, but they're just laughing gleefully and not hiding it very well.

After a few more drinks - no more sparklers, sadly - he's actually rather enjoying the attention from the barlady and her friends. Seems all the staff want a piece of the birthday boy. They all scold him for his terrible jokes, and squeeze his biceps admiringly, and one or two even pinch his cheek when he giggles coyly.

"See, you had the greatest time of your life," Yoko says dryly as he's escorting Maru home in a taxi.

"Yeah, thank you," Maru giggles. "You enjoyed yourself too, didn't you?" He knows Yoko was blushing and squirming at the attention of all the drag queens but he knows that Yoko enjoys it just as much as he does. Almost.

"Not as much as Hina," Yoko mutters. "Him and men in dresses, it all fits into place..."

"Shhhh!" Maru says, panicking. "You're not supposed to mention that!" It's only when outraged shouting does not follow, that he realises Hina is actually not with them. Maru doesn't remember him leaving. "Where _is_ he anyway?" he asks.

"He rushed off when we left the bar," Yoko says vaguely. "Think he's got some work tomorrow."

"I think I might have too," Maru says uneasily. He's already not looking forward to it.

Yoko chuckles. "It's pretty late y'know," he says. When they get to Maru's place Yoko pays the driver and gets out with him.

"Aren't you going home?" Maru asks.

"Wanted to make sure you got in alright," murmurs Yoko, watching Maru fumble for his keys.

"I'm not _that_ drunk," Maru protests, knowing that even saying it makes it sound more like a lie. He doesn't really mind though - it's nice of Yoko to care. "Do you want a drink? Or some tea?" he offers when he's let them in.

Yoko shakes his head. Maru realises belatedly how close Yoko is standing to him in the hallway, how his back is to the door and Yoko's face is right in front of his. He feels a sudden rush of sobriety and then Yoko's lips are on his and his head is spinning again. He never expected this, and he doubts Yoko did either, before they were alone together and Maru's house was right there. It feels good, though, and Maru kisses back so eagerly it feels like he's been waiting for this.

Yoko's hand grasps his wrist - Maru finds it oddly affectionate, in a Yoko-ish sort of way. He puts his hand on Yoko's waist lightly, receptive but not expectant. His mind's racing ahead again, wondering what Yoko has in mind - probably nothing, Maru doubts he had a plan - but now they're here, with Maru's bed only a few steps down the hallway, it seems like Yoko wouldn't start something he wasn't hoping to finish. Maru can't help but think there's something he needs to tell Yoko. It would feel dishonest not to.

When they break apart, minutes later, they're breathing hard. Maru feels heat spreading through his very core, this is so sudden and exciting and he doesn't want to stop. He can tell Yoko doesn't want to either. He knows he needs to say something about Hina before they go much further... but not here. Not so close to the door, where Yoko could just flee if he feels embarrassed. So he takes Yoko's hand and quietly leads him to his room.

They sit on the bed and Maru hesitates, waiting for Yoko to kiss him again. It doesn't come right away, and Maru is about to speak, but then Yoko leans in and Maru's heart flips in his chest and he can't resist, he kisses back. This isn't like the last time they did this, Maru doesn't feel uncomfortable or awkward at all - he just wants Yoko to keep going, just wants to know that Yoko feels the same way. But, like the other time, there's someone else who won't leave his mind.

"Wait," he breathes, his lips still against Yoko's. "I have to tell you something."

Yoko sits back, uncertainty clouding his expression. It makes Maru's heart thud in a not-so-good way.

"Me and Hina..." he starts, his mouth dry. He hopes Yoko can infer the rest; his hope is not in vain.

Yoko's eyes widen. "What happened? You slept with him?" he blurts out.

"No! No," says Maru quickly, feeling more and more like this is a confession of infidelity. "We just... like you and me," he says, feeling himself turn red.

Yoko stares at him for what feels like a very long time. "So, what is _this_?" he asks doubtfully, as if he's scared of treading on toes, or feels like his own have been trodden on, maybe - Maru can't tell if he's reading too much into it.

"I don't know," says Maru. He feels very small. But Yoko's reaction shows him it's not nothing.

Yoko is biting his lip. Maru can tell there are a lot of things he wants to ask, but probably daren't. Maru doesn't know what he was expecting to happen - if he's honest, probably something very like this - but he wishes now that he'd waited till after to bring this up.

"It was a little while ago now," Maru starts, a touch of desperation in his voice. "I was taking a chance." He feels like he's making excuses, but he can't explain it - it was what he wanted, and he did it. That's the truth, but it doesn't feel good enough, and he doesn't know why. "It just happened."

Yoko looks at him for a long moment. Maru really, really hopes he isn't going to ask him who was better. Yoko seems to wrestle with the decision for some time, but eventually he must conclude that the immediate situation is more important, and this detail should not get in the way of their fun.

"I guess it's none of my business," he mutters, and leans in to kiss Maru again.

Yoko is surer this time. His hand on Maru knows just the right pace, it's fast and hot and Maru is totally caught up in it. He comes first, and out of some kind of lingering feeling of misplaced guilt and alcohol, decides to go down on Yoko. The gratified sound Yoko makes when Maru sucks the head of his cock is totally satisfying, and it doesn't take Yoko long to come in Maru's mouth.

Maru spits discreetly into a tissue and crawls up into the bed next to Yoko. They lie side by side, getting their breath back.

"So, you and Hina," Yoko says after a minute. "I knew it!"

Maru sits up on one elbow. "What did you know?" He remembers Yoko asking him if they'd ever done it before - now it feels like Yoko is claiming credit!

"You and Hina, there was something there," he says. Maru can't decide if he sounds smug or sulky.

Maru giggles. "I said the same about you and him, remember? Anything you want to tell me?" He's glad he feels able to tease like this. Still normal.

Yoko makes a face. "No!"

"So it's us who's the odd ones out then really," Maru points out.

Yoko is quiet for a minute. "So what _is_ this?" he asks again, more quietly.

"I don't know," Maru replies again, feeling useless. "I just - I like you."

"And you like him?" Yoko supplies.

"Yeah," Maru says. Suddenly this hedonistic lifestyle choice doesn't seem so easy to just go along with.

Yoko is quiet again. "Maybe I like you too," he says eventually, so quietly Maru wonders if he's fallen asleep and dreamt it.

He turns onto his side and looks at Yoko's face, feeling his heart race and his stomach flip over and over. "Do you?" he whispers.

Yoko turns his head on the pillow. "If I did, what would you do?"

Maru opens his mouth to answer that he'd be happy, delighted, he'd love to be with Yoko; but before the words come out he realises maybe it's not so simple. He feels like the lowest, but what if, when he was with Yoko, Hina still kept playing on his mind? That wouldn't be right. "I'd have to think about it," he answers truthfully.

"Right," says Yoko, looking at the ceiling. Maru can tell Yoko feels like he's been turned down, but he can't pretend to know better than he does.

"I wouldn't mind trying though," he whispers. "If you wouldn't."

Yoko flicks his gaze to Maru, then away again quickly. "Think about it," he echoes, and Maru understands.

Maru does think about it. He can't _stop_ thinking about it. Every time he sees Yoko he thinks, it'd be nice to be together. He likes Yoko a lot. But then the thought creeps into his mind - what if Hina asked him too? What if he ended up in Hina's bed again, what if Hina made the same confession? Maru hates feeling so greedy, so flighty - he wants to have his cake and eat it too, and that wouldn't be fair.

Yoko doesn't bring it up again. Maru knows he's waiting for him to say something. Maru can't help but wonder what the statute of limitations on Yoko's feelings are - will he wait too long, and they'll have run out? The thought makes Maru feel more desperate than ever. He doesn't want to feel like he's using Yoko in case he can't have everything he wants. He doesn't want Yoko to be tied down to a terrible person like him. Neither of them deserves it! And yet... he doesn't want to let Yoko go.

He wonders what Yoko is thinking. A part of him imagines him giving up already, thinking he can never win against Hina and resigning himself to a life alone like the martyr he is - but Maru really can't be flippant about this anymore. He never expected this to happen, never thought he would be the sort of guy to string people along like this! He never thought he'd have such a choice, so it's not surprising he can't make up his mind.

"Does Hina know about me?" Yoko asks suddenly one night.

Maru wonders why never felt the same need to tell Hina about Yoko. Maybe because he's less worried about hurting Hina's feelings, Hina is less fragile. "No," he confesses.

Yoko gives him a funny look. "Maybe if you told him, you'd get somewhere," he suggests.

Maru feels very silly for not just doing this in the first place. It wasn't so hard telling Yoko - surely Hina would be easier? Hina will surely laugh at him for being so ridiculous. He's not sure if that's better or worse than Yoko's response. Maru imagines Hina saying the same as Yoko - what on earth would he do then? He'd be right back where he started!

He wonders if Hina suspects. Maru knows something is up - knows Yoko has been on Hina's mind too, since after Thailand. He's curious, now.

"Has... Yoko been OK with you lately?" he asks Hina hesitantly, the next time he has a chance.

"Eh?" asks Hina blankly.

"You said a while back, you thought he'd been acting strangely..." Maru ploughs on, feeling his cheeks warm. Surely Hina can read him like a book, he's never been any good at hiding his thoughts or feelings!

"Oh! You were right, I think it was just my imagination," says Hina breezily.

Maru feels horribly guilty at that, as if he lied to Hina. Hina is a part of this, he always has been, even if Maru hasn't quite assembled the parts of this jigsaw puzzle yet. (There are only three pieces; Maru thinks it really should be easier to see how they fit together.) Keeping something from him might be a part of what's standing in the way. If he tells, maybe things will start to slot into place.

"He likes me." It spills out of Maru's mouth before he has a chance to stop himself.He stares at Hina, wide-eyed. There's a silence.

"Do you like him?" Hina asks measuredly.

"Yes," admits Maru. His mouth is dry. "But I like you too." He looks at the table between them. All he has to cling to is the thought that, if it could go alright with Yoko, it can't be any worse with Hina. This isn't how Maru envisioned it at all! It was all so _easy_! He never expected to be saying these words, never expected to feel this way! He guesses he went a few steps too far. Maru's never been too good at knowing his limits.

There's another silence. Maru risks a peek at Hina's face, and his expression must be funny, because Hina laughs. "Spoilt for choice, aren't you?" he teases.

Maru laughs nervously.

"Well, if you're going to ask me about it, I guess I'd have to say I like you too," says Hina. "Otherwise I wouldn't have done what we did." He's trying be blase, but that doesn't make Maru feel any calmer.

"I'm sorry," blurts out Maru automatically.

Hina laughs. "What are you sorry for?"

"Causing trouble?"

"You do enough of that anyway," Hina says generously. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," says Maru for what feels like the hundredth time. He's used to feeling useless by now.

Hina shakes his head, chuckling, but he doesn't persist. Maru thinks he must look and sound so pitiful that Hina knows it's pointless.

The next time he hears from Hina, he's inviting Maru out for a drink. They arrange to meet at a bar they frequent - Hina has booked a private room - but when Maru arrives, he finds Yoko there as well. His stomach flips - he feels like he's walked in on his wife and his mistress having coffee together or something.

He looks from one to the other, and they both laugh at him loudly. They've obviously been there some time.

"We've been talking about you," giggles Yoko.

Hina laughs and motions for Maru to sit down with them. "We both know, y'know."

"I bet you've been sitting at home and moping, haven't you?" Yoko teases.

"You shouldn't worry so much!" scolds Hina, pouring a drink for Maru. "We're all grown-ups!" He eyes Yoko and Maru. "Well, we're all men anyway!"

Maru downs his drink. Maybe it'll make him feel less uncomfortable. It's not like they're treating him any different to usual, but all his cards are on the table and they're both waiting for _him_ to make the next move. Maru's used to being laughed at, but not usually for something this... close to home. His mind is a complete blank, he has no idea what he can even start to say.

Yoko rolls his eyes. "Well, might as well complete this triangle," he mutters, and leans in and plants a kiss on Hina's mouth.

Maru feels his eyes widen to the size of saucers. He pours himself another drink and downs that too.

Yoko turns and stares at him. "What? Everyone is always saying we should - fortune tellers, Recomen listeners, Subaru, you..."

Maru giggles nervously. "Well, you are soulmates..." he teases.

"Yeah, why should we hang around waiting for you to make up your mind, when we could have each other?" Hina adds, his lips twitching into a grin.

"Well, it looks like I don't need to make up my mind," Maru says cheekily. If they're going to play this game, Maru's going to call their bluff. "If you're happy with each other, I can have both."

Suddenly Yoko's expression is a little more serious, a little more uncertain. He looks from Maru to Hina, who just looks back at him with a faintly amused expression, eyebrows raised.

Maru holds his breath. They're at a turning point now - they can stop here and laugh at the joke, and leave Maru back at square one; or they can take it to its logical conclusion. Maru hadn't even dared think about this possibility. He doesn't think the others had either, but he guesses that somewhere, deep down, they must've wondered about it. Like Yoko says, enough people have kept pressing it.

"Why are you both looking at me?" says Yoko, his voice high-pitched. "It's him who started it!" he exclaims, pointing at Maru..

"You know how I feel about it," says Maru. He hopes they don't notice the pathetic note of longing in his voice.

"It was alright with Maru - it'd probably be alright with you too," reasons Hina.

Yoko looks like he's thinking very hard.

Hina rolls his eyes. "You're both as bad as each other!" he says, and puts his hand on the back of Yoko's head and kisses him again.

That's when Maru knows for certain that, even when they get past the joking, this is like a game, and there's no point getting stressed or serious about it, because it's just for fun, like the rest of their lives. There's nothing wrong with doing something just because they _want_ to. If everyone's on the same page, no-one's going to get hurt. They've got this far and everything is fine - there's no need to agonise any longer!

Maru can't deny that it makes his heart jump, watching them - the way they kiss is masculine and no-nonsense, straightforward like Hina but sharp like Yoko.

"See, we need you to keep us in order Shin-chan," murmurs Maru when they break apart. It just feels _right_ , like it has all along; the three of them together, like in a shoujo manga where the heroine never has to make up her mind between the two handsome and yet completely opposite suitors vying for her hand.

They look at each other. There's no going back. There's no _point_ going back. They'd always wonder. It'd always be a question that needed an answer. They might as well work it out together.

They go back to Maru's place ("because he started it, we should be his guests!"). He thought it would be like it was before, casual and quick and laidback, but with the three of them together, it's different. Hina gets Maru on his hands and knees and screws him, slow and deep and steady, while Yoko sits back against the headboard and lets Maru suck his dick. By the time they're both done, Maru is desperate, he's shaking as he lies between them and they both put their hands on him. They take it in turns to kiss him, only a few times before he comes, moaning and whimpering as breathily as a woman.

He lies there, panting, waiting for someone to say something, but neither of them does, and the longer time goes on the weirder it would feel to break the silence. He doesn't know what to say anyway. He doesn't feel like anything needs saying. This is enough as it is.

Maru turns the light out and listens to Yoko and Hina's breathing even out in sleep. He isn't sure where this is going, or how they're going to get there, but he doesn't think that makes them any different to anyone else. There's no formula for this sort of thing, and even if there was, Maru doesn't think they'd fit neatly into it anyway. Besides, he thinks, nothing you can calculate the result of is as much fun as doing the experiment yourself.


End file.
